I received the best gift in church recently. It was painful in a way, but ultimately exactly what I needed.
I love how my church does baptisms. After all the prayers and pouring on of water, the pastor takes the child in his arms and brings him up and down the aisles introducing everyone to the newest child of God.
He says: "Well, (insert child's name), this is your new family." He walks to the Sunday school class in the front row, "these are your brothers and sisters." As he meanders through the congregation he whispers, "these are your aunts and uncles." And finally he jokes, "this is your choir, they get upset if we don't introduce them too."
Yesterday, as the pastor was ushering around this 5 month old bundle that shares my brother's name, he stopped at the edge of my pew. The child was aware. Dressed in his finery, he was taking it all in. We made eye contact and held it. One beat, two, then three...as I looked into his big brown eyes and smiled, his serious face erupted in a huge grin that was just for me. My arms ached to hold him, but I know he is not mine to have. Even as my heart throbbed, it swelled at the small moment that was ours alone. Sometimes, in my line of work, a smile is the greatest reward.
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